Enemy On Line One
by SquirrelzAttack
Summary: In which Sebastian makes a very lucrative phone call, and Kurt decides that it's high time to strike back. Rated T for Klisses and sexy Klaine time.


_**Hello once more again, audience!**_

**_I do remember making a promise to most more Klaine. I've been neglecting my poor babies in favor of Niff. Poor babies. My most sincere apologies. (It's not my fault Niff is so damn adorable) It won't happen again...for a while, anyway._**

**_I wrote this pre-Michael, based off of the promo from the Lima Bean. I would've posted it earlier, but Sarah's been going through some stuff and been busy with work, and I didn't want to push her into betaing for me. And I wouldn't post without her nitpicking me. So...you're getting this a little belated._**

**_I know I can't capture Sebastian as well as the writers, but I like to think the sexual innuendos are at least slightly his style. In any case, let me know if I passed or failed._**

**_Happy Klaining!_**

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><p>Kurt was upset.<p>

And Blaine knew it was all his fault, but _honestly_, why did Sebastian have to waltz in and ruin their relationship all the time?

The car ride back to Blaine's place had been tense, to say the least. Sure, they'd had the radio playing as per usual, but there had been something particularly rigid in the way Kurt was sitting that sent a fiery jolt of guilt through Blaine's gut. And, as he pulled in to his driveway, Blaine decided that his phone conversations with Sebastian were going to end here and now.

"Just tell me why you were talking to him." Kurt asked sharply, sitting down on Blaine's bed.

"Because he called me." Blaine nearly hit himself. That was seriously the most pathetic answer he could've ever picked ever.

"You didn't have to _answer_, Blaine." Kurt snapped, turning his head defiantly to the side.

"I know." Blaine sighed, gingerly taking a seat next to Kurt. "But if I don't answer, it just gets worse. He calls more frequently, texts more frequently, and even gets the other Warblers to bug me about it sometimes. So I figure one tiny phone call once in a while keeps him off my back."

Kurt was silent. It was hard to tell if it was a good thing or simply the pre-show of an explosion.

"Look," Blaine pressed on. "Sebastian doesn't mean _anything_ to me. I'm not interested in him _at all_. And I'll stop talking to him if it bothers you this much."

Kurt turned to face his boyfriend, his blue eyes slightly wide. "You'd do that?"

Blaine smiled softly. "Of course. I love you."

He leaned forward and met Kurt's lips in a gentle kiss, tenderly pulling the other boy forward. At first Kurt seemed a little hesitant, almost disbelieving, but he quickly warmed up to the gesture, one of his hands cupping Blaine's jaw. A little voice in the back of Blaine's head poked him and not-so-quietly reminded him that they were still half-sitting on his bed. If only the thought of Sebastian wasn't such a mood-killer in the first place, this might've been a great opportunity to –

Shit.

"What's that?" Kurt asked, pulling back from their kiss to look around. "What's vibrating? Is it your phone?"

"Umm…yes." Blaine pulled out his cell, freezing the second he saw who was on caller ID.

"Who is it?" asked Kurt, his eyes intense.

"S-Sebastian." Blaine said quietly, setting the phone down on the bedspread as if it were a nuclear bomb. "I won't pick it up."

"Answer it." Kurt said.

"What?"

"You heard me. Answer it."

Utterly flabbergasted, Blaine flipped open his cell, confusion coloring his tone, "Hello?"

"Hey Anderson, how's your sex drive this afternoon?"

Blaine rolled his eyes. That was Sebastian all right – always straight to the point.

"Fine. Why are you interested?"

And then Kurt started doing something so incredibly evil, Blaine finally understood why he'd told him to pick up the phone. Kurt had managed to get behind Blaine while he was talking and started tracing a feather-light finger up and down his spine, making Blaine shiver uncontrollably from the chills.

"Why do you _think_ I'm interested?" Oh wait. Sebastian was still on the phone.

"I…n-no. No." Blaine barely could continue his coherency with Kurt sliding a hand under his shirt, his breath ghosting over one ear.

"Did you just stutter?" Sebastian's smirk was completely audible. "That's cute. I make you nervous."

"Ah, no." Blaine sharply inhaled as Kurt traced the band of his jeans with cool fingers. "I just – I'm just – I – it's hard to explain. There's, uh, a lot going on right now."

"Well, I can fix that. My bed _is_ a bit lonely today."

"_Not_ what I meant, Sebastian." Blaine half-groaned, biting his lip to hold back his cries.

Naughtily, Kurt placed a hand on Blaine's chest and pushed him back onto the bed, an evil smirk firmly in place. His hands quickly made up for the lost time, drawing invisible lines over the exposed part of Blaine's abdomen and hip.

"Hearing you moan my name is super hot. I must really turn you on. Would you mind doing that again?"

"I – "

Blaine's breath hitched sharply as Kurt popped open the button on his jeans, snapping the elastic of his briefs. It was very hard to form any thought at all, let alone a coherent one, and his blood was most certainly _not_ rushing to his brain.

"Let's get together tonight. I'm sexy, you're sexy…I'm sure we'll figure something out."

"I – I'm afraid – I really can't do that." Blaine hissed through his teeth, the hand holding his phone shaking violently.

A warm tongue drew itself up the cord in Blaine's neck, teeth nipping lightly on the sensitive skin. Blaine gasped loudly, hurriedly trying to cover it up with a series of coughs.

"S-sorry. I, uh, had s-something in my throat." He vainly tried to keep his voice steady.

Kurt picked a spot near the hollow of Blaine's throat – one that drove him absolutely wild – and started mercilessly attacking it, a mess of teeth and tongue and lips. Blaine writhed under the touch, still biting the inside of his mouth, barely controlling his groans of frustration and pleasure.

"Kurt doesn't have to know." Sebastian purred, his voice lowering slightly. "It'll be our little secret. Our delectably _dirty_ secret."

And just the word _dirty_ set Blaine's brain off a mile a minute, although the disconnected thoughts that spun through his mind had nothing to do with Sebastian.

"I – I can't Kurt. Can't leave Kurt."

"Your little gayface tagalong will never know about us."

And then Kurt was skimming his fingers over Blaine's thigh, applying just enough pressure to send a fresh wave of chills through Blaine's entire body. He had to get off the phone. _Now_.

"Sebastian, this – this isn't a good time. I – I'll call you back."

"Aw, don't back out now. I can take you places that little rat can't even _dream_ of."

Blaine heard Kurt growl defensively, another sound that drove him close to insanity. And then Kurt bit down on a particularly tender spot on Blaine's neck, his hands on Blaine's inner thighs, and Blaine completely lost it.

"_Kuuuurt_." He groaned uninhibitedly, his eyes rolling to the back of his head.

"I – what?" For once, Sebastian's voice lost its sultry, predator-esque quality in exchange for one of complete surprise.

Smirking, Kurt grabbed Blaine's phone out of his hands.

"Blaine's a bit preoccupied right now. I'll make sure he gets back to you." The countertenor said sweetly. He snapped the phone shut without another word and tossed it onto the floor, and Blaine didn't have the thought process to go retrieve it. He growled low in his throat, grabbing Kurt's collar and pulling him into a searing kiss.

"You evil little _minx_." Blaine groaned, his neck throbbing in all the places Kurt had assaulted it.

"Shut up, you love it." Kurt said breathlessly. "I was just allowing him an insight on our excellent sex life."

"I – love – you." Blaine said, puncturing each word with a hot, sloppy kiss on Kurt's jaw or neck. "And right now these damn skinny jeans are _in my way_."

Blaine felt rather than saw Kurt's smirk, and knew that the afternoon wasn't going to be quite as dull and sulky as he'd feared.

Unsurprisingly, he didn't get another call from Sebastian for quite a few days.

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><p><strong><em>Oh, Sebastian. No matter how hot your little meerkat face is, Kurt will always find a way to thwart you. It's just a fact.<em>**

**_Let me know in a review if you enjoyed! Also send me a note via Tumblr (squirrelzattack) or PM or review if you have any good story ideas for Klaine or Niff. My muse has disappeared and I'm afraid I'm having trouble finding her._**

**_Bless your face. If you sneezed while reading this story, bless YOU. Peace off. BOOP!_**

**_~SquirrelzAttack_**


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